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Monday, October 6, 2014

A letter to Loui

I have not updated my blog in months.
Loui passed away July 5th and life has not been the same... Here is my letter to Loui:
i lost you much too soon.

I still can't put away your harness and keep your toys in a safe place near my bed. Tim called Frank while we were 'celebrating' our anniversary in Napa and something told me there was something wrong; i answered the phone and knew there was a problem.
Tim told me you were dead and my concern quickly shifted to Tim and his broken heart and pain.
All i could tell him was "its okay, we will catch the earliest flight back home".
I lied, i hung up the phone and my heart was broken.
We left the winery in tears and I threw up in our hotel as i cried uncontrollably.
ONLY eight years with me seemed so short, I felt so upset and so angry, i thought life wasn't fair.
I still remember driving to fall brook with a check and hating myself for not 'rescuing' and buying from a breeder but i saw your photo online and fell in love with you instantly!
i couldn't stop thinking about the expensive dog i shouldn't buy, i heard a song that afternoon
'WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD" by Louis Armstrong and i knew what your name would be.
Loui.

My Loui, what a wonderful world.

I have never met a more loving dog, you actually kissed me when i asked, smiled at me, loved me and slept next to me every night.
You loved the squeaky ball, i have your last one in my bra drawer. . .
I still hate walking in the door each day, our house will never be the same. Orielle keeps me going but i still cry in my car some days and hate to walk inside the house.

I am so sorry i was not there for you when you left this world, I find a bit of comfort in knowing Orielle was there for you to see you go and Tim did all he could.
Your absence leaves a GIANT hole in my life, you are in my heart forever. i will always love you and  never forget you. I love you Loui, thank you for your love and affection.


Mama cries for you and misses you so so so so so so so so much.
I still can't believe you are gone.
i love you.